Author Archives: gdewar

Let’s Do Write Ins For The Non-Challenged Incumbents in June!

Oh, June Democratic Primary Ballot. You are, in fact, the worst primary ballot yet, and I’ve been voting in these things for far too long. At the top of the ticket is a yawn-fest (if some crackpot no name actually beats Gov. Brown in the primary, I’ll buy everyone that reads this column a beer), in the middle an “evil of two lessers” choice (nominees for Attorney General), and at the bottom, a confusing battle locally for people who actually want to serve on the San Francisco County Democratic Central Committee (a job that pays nothing, sucks up your time, and drives you mad).
What to do, what to do?
Here’s what I’m doing – my time-honored tradition of using my mail ballot as a taxpayer funded coloring book. Now, far be it from me to trivialize voting in the World’s Greatest Democracy, but when so many of these things have been pre-ordained, I think it’s time for some Write In Candidate Fun.
This is nothing new – when San Francisco instituted its IRV/RCV/WTF/OMG/FML voting system, it was reduced to a joke since so often, incumbents were unopposed for re-election. Despite the fact we were promised it’d make it easier for no-names to beat the Big Kids, nothing changed, so I took the liberty of making those poll workers work, by counting my write in ballots, more than once.
This time, I propose something different. Many, many incumbent legislators are on the ballot in the primary who have no opposition, so there’s no risk if you decide to say “Frak It” and write in the name of someone else. It’s not like we dislike people like Fiona Ma, Tom Ammiano, or Leland Yee, but they’re going to win with 99.99% of the vote in the primary, AND win re-election in the fall. So why not write in someone for those spots, and have some fun with it?
I have no delusions that out of such an exercise we’re going to read in our Google Readers the day after the election that Fiona Ma has been ousted, via write-in votes by Rory B. Bellows or some other crazy thing. So go for it, and post in the comments who you wrote in for what.
PS: Of course, the idea that taxpayers are paying for an election that is for the nomination of candidates by party is nonsense – there’s no reason at all we need to waste tax dollars on this. Party nominees should be made by members of that party, be it by convention, private vote, or whatever, but this idea that the government has to sponsor such contests is ludicrous.

Friday Flashback – MAD Magazine Cover from 1960!

mad1960.jpgLately I’ve been going through various, disorganized boxes of things I’ve saved over the years, organizing them so I can finally frame my button collection and other odd memoribilia I’ve saved. It’s not Hoarders level weird stuff either – being a minimalist who has moved around the country several times, I’m pretty strict on what remains with me and what is given away. I have been pleasantly surprised to find several items, one of which I’ve featured here – a MAD magazine from 1960.
If you’re a fan of Mad Men, you’ll recall that season 1 starts in 1960, and there’s much discussion of the Presidential election that year. One wonders if the ad copywriters of Sterling Cooper might have had a copy of this issue in their desk, to read whilst having a drink at work.
Even funnier is the main feature “If Madison Avenue Ran Presidential Elections” and well, let’s just say that in its prime, MAD Magazine was a better resource for learning than most people realize. I credit old MADs from the 60s and 70s as being the prime influence of my world view, far more than some silly party or politician.

Let’s Freak Out About Politics As Usual With Chris Kelly And Kamala Harris!

scream.pngIn less than two months, voters will be headed to the polls for primary elections for Democrats, Republicans, et al. If you weren’t aware of this, or hadn’t put much thought into it don’t feel bad – most people aren’t doing so either.Turnout is likely to be low, because it’s a battle of no-names for most races, and the top of the ticket has a presumptive Democratic nominee (minus any actual campaign). So, the drama filters downward.
For some reason, many termed out legislators, a rich dude, and the DA from San Francisco have crowded the field for Attorney General – at last count I saw 6 on the Democratic side alone. Many voters are undecided, since no one candidate is particularly well known outside their hometown/district. Harris is the presumptive “front runner,” but most voters are undecided. Ironically, a poll early this year indicated that the top choice for Democratic primary voters was a candidate who wasn’t even running for the job. Ouch.
In a crowded race, it’s expected that candidates are going to pump themselves up as much as possible, and rip on their opponents to win. So it should have been no surprise when Chris Kelly, a wealthy attorney, noob to electoral politics, and former bigwig at Facebook, made the call to unleash the political Krakken, with online advertising and more against presumptive front runner Harris’ record as District Attorney of San Francisco. This is pretty much politics as usual. Nasty, annoying, yes. Unexpected? No! (Remember that ugly race between Westly and Angelides in the 2006 primary? Wait, you forget about trivial, annoying BS? Good for you – you’re saner than I then.)
Apparently no one told Kamala Harris’ campaign that, unlike an uncontested race in Safe San Francisco, an open Democratic primary can quickly become an unruly brawl. Thus, the Harris campaign responded to the online ad buy and the YouTube video by losing their collective sh*t, and using weasel words to attack the concept of online advertising. In particular, you can tell they just loved using the phrase “…in his new video, which the “privacy expert” Kelly has undoubtedly expertly placed on your Facebook homepage, Google searches, email inbox, or all three in recent days…”
In other words, be very very scared of the Big Bad Man Who Bought Google Ads and Snuck Into Your Computer at Night and Placed them. BE SCARED! BE OH SO SCARED OF THE SERIES OF TUBES!!!!
GIve me a fucking break. Either the Harris campaign has no clue how Google ads work (!) or more likely, are just using weasel words to create some weird impression of Kelly – ironically what they accuse Kelly of doing. Oh, by the way, the Harris campaign has placed Google ads too. OH TEH HORRORS!
They follow it up by bragging about how many Facebook Fans they have. Really? I think I read about this in Who Cares Magazine. (I’ve written about why this metric can be total BS, go read it, it’s funnier than this post).
Like it or not politics in 2010 are going to be nasty. Every candidate has a record that will get examined in fine detail by the media and their opponents. Ms. Harris is no exception to the rule and neither are the other 5 candidates. Plus, if she can’t handle a mild attack like this, how in the heck is she going to fare against the Republican onslaught in the fall if she’s nominated, when they will not have any problems calling her Satan’s Choice for DA and throw the kitchen sink (and parts of her record) at her?
Personally, I’ve not heard one candidate actually talk about any issues that would have any bearing on things you or I might actually be concerned about. Instead I’ve received many e-begging emails asking me to find more friends for them on Facebook. Having a candidate act like an emotionally needy teen doesn’t exactly inspire a lot of confidence that they know what they’re doing, which is why I might just leave this part blank when I go “vote” in June.

An Investment Opportunity at Wondercon? Well…Kinda!

So this past Saturday I went to Wondercon, mostly on a whim and because I was bored. Among the many things competing for the Nerd/Otaku/Fanboy/Fangirl dollar were these high-end collectible figures depicting Mugen from the anime series Samurai Champloo.

(For those of you not aware of this series, it’s an oddly cool mix of samurai stories set way back when, combined with a really great hip hop soundtrack. The story is interesting and there’s not a lot of that wide eyes bullsh*t fanservice crap I can’t stand in most anime. Go watch some and you’ll see what I mean).

Anyway, so they had these pricey, very nicely crafted “collectible figures” with movable eyes, detailing that was to the extreme, and so on. They were selling for $125, I think, a discount off the normal price.

However, after talking to the guy at the booth, I realized that this could be an actual investment. He noted that the run of these “Mugen” figures were limited to 500, with no chance of them ever coming out again. I made some comment about how I should buy some and put ’em in a safe and he said “Hey – that’s no joke. Buy two and we’ll cut the price some more, put ’em in a safe, and in about 2-4 years you could ebay them for at LEAST $500 a piece, if not more.”

Now, that’s assuming a lot, but I’ve met some of these collector types and they can get pretty competitive over something they really want. With the fact that there are only $500 of these worldwide, it’s forseeable one could make 4x-6x their money back in a few years.

Figure it this way – anyone who got a crippling ARM mortgage and bought some big McMansion with a toy cave isn’t faring too well on that investment. But anyone buying a few collectible toys and keeping them in the box for a few years will probably do a lot better!

Why the FRAK Does This One Entry Get Spammed So Much?

355366021_9aaeeab250_m.jpgSpammers, WTF.
No seriously, WHAT THE F*CK?
For those of you just joining us, today I am taking note of the strangest kind of spam I’ve ever seen – spam comments. Now that’s nothing new – anyone who runs a blog runs into these bots or whatevers that can post phony comments that lead you to links on discount boner pills and weird get rich quick schemes. Fine, But what I don’t get is this: 80% of the phony comments land on this post I wrote in a hurry about my Italian cousin performing on Irving Street before his return to Italy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to “mark as spam” comments that come through the system.
I mean, what the f*ck makes this such a target of said spambots? I can’t figure it out. So, geniuses in Internetland, I ask – what’s up with this post and why does it attract so many spam postings? Anyone? Anyone?

John Cusack for Governor 2010? Sure, Why Not?

Say+Anything+001+resized.jpgNow, calm down and bear with me here. I’m not entirely kidding. Here’s why.
There’s no denying that after 7 years of mismanagement by Governor Doofinator, the 2/3rds rule and an array of inexperienced or corporatized “Democrats” in Sacramento, combined with endless bullsh*t “ballot measures,” we need a change at the top.
But right now our choices are limited to “eMeg,” another vain billionaire who has no idea how government works, and AG/Former Governor Jerry Brown, who is smart, knowledgeable, but has chosen to run a campaign so low-profile, no one knows he’s running, and is likely to lose, especially with the Democratic base divided over “President” Obama’s performance, and a GOP who’s willing to cater to the batshit insane to reclaim power.
Now, my scenario here was a bit more relevant in January, when I came up with it, but I figured I’d put it out now, on the eve of the California Democratic Convention, since I’m worried we’re going to have a new level of arrogant stupidity invade the Capitol. So for your consideration, I wonder if perhaps Democrats run John Cusack* for Governor in 2010.
I came up with this for several reasons. While Brown was able to dispatch the inept and expensive “Newsom for Governor” campaign in 2009 by raising money and spending little, that approach does not work in early 2010, which is what the campaign chose to do.
Up against a crazy billionaire, though, at this late date, it isn’t working anymore. Now, we have the prospect of a candidate who has no challenge in the primary coasting, but not building a statewide network to fight this craziness. The “kitchen table” approach won’t cut it this time around. Brown has name ID amongst older voters, but he doesn’t necessarily have an image or name ID with many new voters, nor does he have a mechanism to do that. (And sorry, but f*cking Facebook doesn’t count)
More to the point, we can’t afford another vanity governor who will do more damage to the state, and who’s willing to lie to get the job. And while I note the irony of replacing one Hollywood candidate with another, I’ve been reading Cusack’s articles and interviews for some time now, and he’s a very bright, very engaged person, not amongst your typical arrogant Hollywood liberal who drives around in a Prius but does so for just for show. And, his career hasn’t had the post 80s drop off that others of his generation have had – he’s still fairly well known amongst voters of all ages. (and it’s not like similar ideas haven’t popped up before!)
Admittedly this is all a bit wild – but the fact is if either Cusack, or any Democratic candidate could have easily upset Brown if they’d just had the courage to step up for both the Party, and more importantly, the improvement of the State of California. Brown would have been caught flat-footed, and people would have had a chance to make a real choice in June.
Of course, Mr. Cusack has better things to do than waste his time working with an incompetent, lying state government. It’s too bad that more people that know this to be the case never bothered to even try. But cowardice in the Democratic party starts at the top, with a President who is always willing to sell out his own party for the sake of keeping the people who hate him happy, and it continues on down to an array of California politicians who don’t seem to know, or care, how to make this state great again.
Unfortunately, we all lose in the end.
* I also propose Mr. Cusack because he just seems cooler than most “stars” but Hell, it could be anyone (politician, star, or otherwise) with a little cash and some name ID who isn’t a moron (because voters are too stupid to read up on this on their own) to do what Arnold could have done, but failed to do – cut the crap and rally people to a reform agenda. The trick is whoever this magic person is would have to surround themselves with good people – something again in short supply in politics!

OUCH! Former Newsom Campaign Manager Garry South Issues Scathing E-Blast On…Gavin Newsom?

frustratednewsombayview.jpgOuch.
That’s all I could think of when I was sent this email from Garry South, the chief strategist of the Hahn for Lt. Governor campaign, who also happens to be a former advisor to the now defunct Newsom for Governor campaign. Newsom, as you may know, might actually run for LG after all, and the fact one of his former advisors is working for another candidate? Well one had to wonder if that was going to end in tears or not.
Today, the following communique was issued by Mr. South. Upon reading it, all I could think of was just how much of a knockdown dragout fight this race could be. Read on:

STATEMENT BY GARRY SOUTH
CHIEF STRATEGIST, JANICE HAHN FOR LT. GOVERNOR
FORMER SENIOR ADVISOR, GAVIN NEWSOM FOR GOVERNOR
I am surprised and perplexed that my friend and former client Mayor Gavin Newsom apparently has decided to jump into the lieutenant governor’s race at the last minute – especially against an already-announced candidate who would be the first woman lieutenant governor in California history.
In every one of several conversations we had about the job while he was running for governor, the Mayor expressed nothing but disinterest in and disdain for the office of lieutenant governor. In fact, he was derisively dismissive of Gray Davis’s decision to run for and serve as lieutenant governor prior to running for governor (“I’m not a Gray Davis,” he said). On a couple of occasions, he directed me to repudiate publicly in the strongest terms that he had any interest in ever running for lieutenant governor.
The Mayor himself told the Chronicle in October that rumors he may run for lieutenant governor were “absurd” and “a complete lie,” and angrily accused Jerry Brown of personally spreading false information to that effect. As recently as December, he himself said flatly “no” when asked directly on a San Francisco radio show whether he intended to run for lieutenant governor.
In addition, when he precipitously pulled out of the governor’s race in late October – against my advice – he said he couldn’t continue as a statewide candidate because he was a husband, a new father and the mayor of San Francisco. So far as I know, he’s still a husband, a new father and the mayor of San Francisco. So it’s pretty hard to see what’s changed over the last four months that would now allow him to run for another statewide office.
If the Mayor does run, it is his responsibility to explain why he now claims to want an elected office he summarily dismissed publicly numerous times over the last several months, and which just earlier this year he called “a largely ceremonial post” … “with no real authority and no real portfolio.”

I’ve got to wonder why Mayor Newsom would want to subject himself to a statewide race against some of his own people, who seem quite willing to take out the blowtorch and pliers and go to work on the Mayor over here. I sure as Hell wouldn’t want to go through that, and I can’t imagine why Newsom would either. Even if he won the primary, he’d come out of it with enough damage that it might make the LG in reach for the Republicans in November since everything’s kind of up in the air now.
Bring on the pain, Democrats!

Bravo TV Builds Gavin Newsom Clone To Run SF While He Runs for LG

A friend of mine who is an avid fan of “Shear Genius” on Bravo told me about a recent episode where contestants had to find a way to use “hair extensions” on male models, and how one, in his “after” shots looked like our Mayor.

Curious, I searched on the Series of Tubes for the episode (as it was not on Hulu! Another NBCU Fail!) and found it and took some screenshots. Needless to say, the resemblance was rather startling. Perhaps this guy will fill in while Newsom is out of town running for Lt. Governor?

Replace Traditional Anti-Valentine’s Day Snark and Hate With….The Rebranding of Valentine’s Day!

valentines_color_icon.gifOne of the most honored traditions of the Valentine’s Day Season is the annual Hating on Valentine’s Day ritual. 30 Rock had a bit of this last night, and the practice of such is as time honored as giving candy and zany teddy bears to people you (might) love (and might not see again after giving that weird-ass gas station teddy bear to on V-Day).
However, this year there’s something new for Valentine’s day that’s neither pro, nor anti, but instead what the holiday really needs…a brand re-imagining!
Brand New, part of the Under Consideration constellation of websites (which you Select Readers may written recall from past posts), featured this extensive workup of the upgraded, rebranded and improved Valentine’s Day. The key component is to create a unique symbol for Valentine’s day (as the “heart” image is appropriated by many causes and ideas) with…this new exclusive icon (pictured at right).
Read the rest of the article for the details. It’s quite entertaining, actually. For more information on unique branding and marketing, consult your local library, or just go watch this video about how a stop sign would be designed by a modern corporation.

Some Relevant Facts on “District Elections” to Consider….

This morning there’s word some folks downtown are trying to change how we elect the Board of Supervisors in San Francisco (again). This time, there’s a proposal to elect some via district and some city-wide. As with any “reform” in San Francisco, this is less about making government work better for all, and is instead another attempt to game the system for one side over another.
That’s not to say that the current system, implemented in 2000, didn’t do the same thing. However, I’d suggest that the problem isn’t with district elections as a concept (even in a smaller city like San Francisco) – instead it’s been the inability of certain factions to adapt and overcome the new terrain. Put simply, if you are faced with district elections, you need to find good people that you can work with to go forth and run who are actually, well, you know, known in the neighborhoods they’ll be representing.
This is basic campaign strategy 101, and yet for almost 10 years, this concept seems to have been lost on some, who seem to want to only support candidates who merely take orders, like a waiter or a waitress in a diner. There are at least two Supervisors elected in 2008 who could have been defeated, had perhaps one side used some tactics not involving the political equivalent of a sledgehammer, but didn’t, and well, they lost.
However, there’s one thing lost in all the discussions about “district elections” that people have generally missed as they blabber on SFGate comments about “the system”- prior to 2000 it was literally impossible to run against a single incumbent Supervisor. Yes, you read that right. If you didn’t like what Supervisor John Doe was doing, and you wanted to run against him and give voters that choice, it couldn’t happen. (Yes, we did have district elections for a short time, which elected Sup. Milk, among others, but it was repealed soon after the assassinations in 1979.)
That’s because of the peculiar way Supervisors were elected prior to 2000. Basically you had many candidates run en masse for Supervisor for a few open spots. The top vote getters would get the seats on the Board, and everyone else would lose.
If we were using this system today, we’d have five spots for people to run for. Every single candidate from the serious to the goofball, would all be on the ballot. This, being SF, you’d have literally a bajillion names to choose from. You, the voter would pick 5, and the top vote getters would be elected, and the rest would lose. You can see how this protects incumbents, who’d have the most money available and “name ID” (which you San Francisco voters really get off on), and how difficult it would be to target a poor performing incumbent who has a lot of cash.
It’s fairly stupid, and between this, and the fact that in the 1990s at one point the Mayor at the time appointed most of the Supervisors anyway, you can see why people rebelled and sent a very loud, very pointed “FU” to Mayor Willie Brown and his appointed princes and princesses.
The only problem with district elections in San Francisco, frankly, is the size of the districts. They’re so small, and often so oddly drawn, they lead to some strange stuff. For example, I used to live on one side of Judah Street and was in Sup. Elsbernd’s district. I moved a block away, and suddenly was in Sup. Mirkarimi’s district. WTF?
There is one idea, however, that might have been worth considering, but I think back in those hyper partisan days when it was the downtown folks sticking it to everyone the way the progressives do now, no one was interested. In many cities (such as Seattle, where I lived for 7 years), they elect candidates citywide, but each position is “numbered.”
This way, each council seat has its own list of candidates to choose from. If there’s an incumbent people can run against them, and if there isn’t, then the seat is open. It creates some accountability with incumbents, but doesn’t have the limits of a district based system, which was a concern amongst some in Seattle. (Oh and in the Irony Department, it was I who first suggested district elections for Seattle based on experiences in the runoff of 2000. Ha!)
The point is simply this – we have been trying to game the system for one side or another with lots and lots of laws and rules, many of which contradict each other. We tried to punish “big time consultants” with a special tax and filing – we ended up punishing the low-paid campaign manager of the struggling citizen campaign. We passed IRV/RCV/WTF and it has been nothing but an expensive pain in the ass that hasn’t delivered on its promises, or gamed the system well (ironically since IRV it is protecting incumbents and “moderate” candidates for citywide office have been unopposed!). District elections have benefits, but there’s nothing suggesting that City Hall is any more responsive to the citizen on Real Issues (Muni, anyone?) than it was before.
San Francisco citizens deserve a process that allows them to choose who they want to represent them at city hall that’s free of too many corrupting influences, while also being compliant with the Constitution. We do not need the government to game the system to help one faction or another, and we do not need a system so complex, only the wealthy can run.
I can’t imagine how it is that a city with so many smart people has to make things slow, stupid, and difficult, and I’ve got to believe there’s enough Smart People out there who can press the reset button and end the howler monkey nonsense that passes for political debate about issues like this. People have had it with a City That Doesn’t Know How, and would like to get their money’s worth when they pay for a multi billion dollar City/County system that could be doing a lot better.