TO: Citizens of Boston
FROM: Everyone Else
Almost a month after the Great Mooninite Panic of 1/31, once again the Boston Police had a “security theater” moment detonating a “suspicious looking device,” sending the local area into a panic and putting the whole city on edge.
Instead it turned out to be a harmless traffic counter.
Citizens of Boston! Those of us who have visited your fine city note that it’s the home of more colleges and universities than pretty much anywhere else in the country. Every Bostonian I’ve met is a reasonable, intelligent human being, and most seem to have a healthy dose of common sense.
Why, then, is your police force so inept it’s blowing up traffic counters? Do you realize what’s happening? If they keep crying wolf, what’s going to happen if something really tragic does happen?
So I’m begging you, citizens of Boston: you tossed tea in the bay to help the Revolution – maybe it’s time your leaders reflected the good sense you all have.
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