Why I’m Buying 1000 Copies of Grand Theft Auto and Sending The Receipt To Hillary “Big Mouth” Clinton

The din of idiocy surrounding the so-called “controversy” over the most popular video game on the market, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas has finally reached a point I thought it could not.
It’s bad enough we have Sen. Hillary Clinton trying to make herself over into a Paragon of Moral Values (this, a woman who had had ethics problems throughout her career) with her media-based crusade, but now we find out that some grandma is suing the company, claiming she was “misled.”
Folks, it’s time we took a look at this non-controversial controversy through the lens of Reason and Common Sense. For example, when one reads the story at Yahoo News, a key fact comes out that makes Swiss cheese out of said Grandma’s lawsuit, and of much of the hoopla.
In this case, it seems the box, which had a big “M” rating, meaning “not for kids under 17” was ignored by Concerned Grandma, when she bought the game for her little grandson, Zutroy. Fun fact: Grandson Zutroy was 14.
Yes, you read that right. Moral Values Grandma was buying a game, loaded with violence, guns, and mayhem, with a big ol’ rating that said “this ain’t for your young ‘uns under 17” for a 14-year old. I guess buying the kid a book, or say, a documentary from National Geographic was out of the question. Grandma got the kid what he wanted – and he wasn’t old enough to play it. Hmm. I guess the parents were too busy to read the box, or pay attention to the game either, and take note of the violence. Oh, and he never downloaded the “patch” either.
And of course, here’s the kicker: the much maligned piece of “code” only works on the PC based version of the game. Most youth of America play games on Playstation or Xbox or GameCube, so they can download the bit o’ code all they want – it won’t work on their game systems.
Even funnier, now that the game is “Adults Only,” it has gone from being a game to be sold only to people 17 and older to…a game sold to people 18 and older. The fact that parents made this thing a best-seller amongst kids, buying this for them, without even bothering to read what the hell it was they were buying, I guess makes it tough for the li’l ones to make a decision about whether God would allow them to read this. Where’s the stadium church when you need it the most???
It’s time for assorted partisans of all stripes. politicians, judges, and government regulators to take a healthy dose of Clue Pills and shut up. If parents are too stupid to read a label that says “don’t buy it for kids under 17” then they should not. If the media would point out the technical speficics how this can’t be hacked on a Playstation, that would help. But I suppose with another Clinton forcing herself on us as our next president (which is about as likely to happen as Saddam Hussein being elected President), we’ll have to endure a media hyped crusade that will hurt an American company, and lead to more regulations of our personal lives.
In the meantime, I think I’m going to forgo rent this month and buy 1000 copies of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, just to piss Hillary and the conservatives off. Even though I don’t own a game console, a PC, or really play games, I don’t care. Heck, I’ll drive around town giving them away to adults, 18 or older, just to really get the Nanny-staters’ panties in a knot.
For more information on Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, consult your local library, or read Maddox’s take, from earlier this month on the issue.
There’s also an interesting take on Sen. “Do as I say not as I do” Clinton’s crusade in the LA Times – but its headline makes a critical error, in that the XBOX version of this game cannot be hacked with the mod found online.
One other thing: though not perfect, I did think BILL Clinton was a great guy, and had the fortune of meeting him twice. Nice guy, and back in the old days people got paid better. But it is just simply foolish to think that Hillary Clinton will be elected President of the United States in this universe. So her crusading to try and remake her image, all for the sake of More Power for Hillary, wrapped up in values, is really just plain sick.

© 2003-2006 Greg Dewar | All Rights Reserved | Originally Published at www.schadelmann.com

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